Monday, October 31, 2005

Friday, October 28, 2005

i want some...



baby porcupines...aren't they just the cutest damn things you've ever seen?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Bitter Corral


Sounds like a drink, doesn't it? Well it's not.

This is all I have to say...why is it so hard to understand that it might be difficult to wake up at 2AM every day? That should go without saying...and one should be cut a little slack.

We're all professionals here and we have to behave like professionals. This is a 24 hour a day operation and we can't be here 24 hours a day to supervise everyone...blahblahblah.

TOTAL FUCKING IDIOT! SHOULDN'T YOU BE WORRYNG ABOUT OTHER THINGS?! AREN'T THERE MORE PRESSING CONCERNS THAT YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT AND FIXING? THERE CERTAINLY ARE...BUT YOU SURE AS SHIT ARE GONNA TAKE CARE OF ME.

i can't wait to see the letter. do you think i have to get a parent's signature on it? perhaps a parent-teacher conference is in order...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

margaritas anyone???




Your baby's hit the 2-inch mark (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce. Her face is beginning to look more human. Her eyes, which started out on the sides of her head, have moved closer together on her face, and her ears are near their final positions on the sides of her head. Your baby's intestines, which have grown so rapidly that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into her abdominal cavity about now. Her kidneys are secreting urine into her bladder. Her nerve cells have been multiplying rapidly, and synapses (neurological pathways in the brain) are forming. Your baby may have acquired more reflexes by now, including sucking, and she'll even squirm if you prod your abdomen, though you still won't be able to feel her movement for several weeks.

Friday, October 21, 2005

you never know

you'd think...with all this time on my hands...i would have posted something these past few days.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

yo mama

Yo mama so stupid it took her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so fat she eats wheat thicks.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

baby's first picture!!!

fig newton



Your fig-sized baby is now fully formed — measuring 1 1/2 inches long and weighing in at a quarter of an ounce. Her skin is still transparent, allowing many of her blood vessels to show through. Some of her bones are beginning to harden, and tiny toothbuds are starting to appear under her gums. Her fingers and toes have separated, and she may soon be able to open and close her fists. She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will increase as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. As her diaphragm develops, your tiny tenant may also start to get the hiccups. Because she's still so small, though, you won't feel any of her workouts or intrauterine gulps until sometime between weeks 16 and 20.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

don't break my ears

So we told Ole I'm pregnant the other night...IT WAS HIGH-LARIOUS.

I began by explaning what pregnant is...there's a baby growing in my belly. My belly is getting bigger...just like the pictures you've seen when you were inside mama. blah blah blah...

Ole: "You're growing a baby right now?"
Me: "Yes. You're gonna be a big brother!" (much enthusiasm here)
Ole: "Is it gonna cry?"
Me: "Well, yes. It's gonna cry sometimes."
Ole: "When it cries...I want to go in my room so it doesn't broke my ears."

Later in the evening...

Ole: "When will the baby get here?"
Rune: "In May. That's when ski season is over"

A few minutes later...

Ole: "Mama...my baby sister's gonna be here when we're done skiing!"
Me: "Did your father tell you that?"

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

nine weeks


Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce, but she's poised for rapid weight gain now that her basic physical structure is in place.

She's also starting to look more and more human. Her embryonic "tail" is now completely gone and her body parts — including organs, muscles, and nerves — are kicking into gear. Her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has earlobes, and by week's end, the inner workings of her ears will be complete. Her upper lip is fully formed, too, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The tips of her fingers are slightly enlarged where her touch pads are developing.

All major joints — shoulders, elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles — are working, enabling your baby to move her limbs. As for her heart, it has divided into four chambers now, and the valves have started to develop. External sex organs are there, but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

Monday, October 03, 2005

tomorrow

the party's over
damn dark circles are still there
back to work again