the sky is falling! the sky is falling!

...on the storm watch 

lookin' good

 

lookout!

 

pro skier

 

scary

look at those eyes! is that the real ole showing through?


he seemed like such a sweet child... 

thanks d!

five pound bag of bears
that's a whole lotta gummi
do i have to share?

god i love her...

"Bitch...I ain't no whore!"

-Diana to gross guy ogling her

pussy cookie

Look at the one she gave me. It looks like a vagina. 

overheard

Diana: "Why don't you have a cookie?"
Michael: "No way. I don't want any of those. They look like butt holes." 

xmas haiku

it's that time of year
with lights and rudolph's red nose
i mean christmas, duh.

ski bunnies

Have you ever seen two cuter skiers? I'm sure you have not. 

haiku

soft, fluffy and sweet
a yummy pillow-like treat
best by the handful

How Can He Not Know?!

Me: "Ole, how did you get those scrapes on your forehead?"
Ole: "I don't know."
Me: "Did it happen at school?"
Ole: "I don't know."
Me: "Did it happen after school"
Ole: "I don't know." 

overheard...in my living room.

"Mama...can you please help me get into the TV so I can hit Pooh Bear and the heffalump with my sword cuz I'm a bad guy..."

that's what i'm talking about...

Is there anything better than leftover Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches with mayo, canned cranberry sauce...and salt?

NO. There is not. mmmmmmmmm...yummy.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE...

fun fun

You know what I heard on the radio on the way to work this morning? Welcome To The Jungle by Guns N Roses!!!! I turned it up loud and sang along. It got me so excited. I think it should be madatory listening for the drive-to-work trip.

my boy...

i can't believe he ever looked like this...so fucking cute and chubby.

 

oh my god...

i hate him

He's such a little asshole.

Is it so wrong...

...to eat practically an entire triangle of brie and half a loaf of sourdough bread on your day off???

Halloween Hangover

Cotton Mouth

 

i am speechless...

...

I L-O-V-E LOVE this story...

this is good stuff...

(AP) -- Newly-released e-mails show former FEMA director Michael Brown discussing his wardrobe during the crisis caused by Hurricane Katrina.

A House panel has released 23 pages of internal e-mail offering additional evidence of a confused and distracted government response to Katrina, particularly from Brown, the former head of Federal Emergency Management Agency, at critical moments after the storm hit.

The e-mails show that Brown, who had been planning to step down from his post when the storm hit, was preoccupied with his image on television even as one of the first FEMA officials to arrive in New Orleans, Marty Bahamonde, was reporting a crisis situation of increasing chaos to FEMA officials.

"My eyes must certainly be deceiving me. You look fabulous — and I'm not talking the makeup," writes Cindy Taylor, FEMA's deputy director of public affairs to Brown on 7:10 a.m. local time on Aug. 29.

"I got it at Nordstroms," Brown writes back. "Are you proud of me? Can I quit now? Can I go home?" An hour later, Brown adds: "If you'll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you'll really vomit. I am a fashion god."

A week later, Brown's aide, Sharon Worthy, reminds him to pay heed to his image on TV. "In this crises and on TV you just need to look more hardworking ... ROLL UP THE SLEEVES!" Worthy wrote, noting that even President Bush "rolled his sleeves to just below the elbow."

Some lawmakers immediately decried the e-mails.

The e-mails "depict a leader who seemed overwhelmed and rarely made key decisions," said U.S. Rep. Charlie Melancon, D-La. He criticized Brown for addressing "superficial subjects — such as Mr. Brown's appearance or reputation — rather than the pressing response needs of Louisiana and Mississippi."

best friends...

 

cuties

 

Preschool Group Picture

Ole and Otto

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

i want some...

baby porcupines...aren't they just the cutest damn things you've ever seen?

Bitter Corral

Sounds like a drink, doesn't it? Well it's not.

This is all I have to say...why is it so hard to understand that it might be difficult to wake up at 2AM every day? That should go without saying...and one should be cut a little slack.

We're all professionals here and we have to behave like professionals. This is a 24 hour a day operation and we can't be here 24 hours a day to supervise everyone...blahblahblah.

TOTAL FUCKING IDIOT! SHOULDN'T YOU BE WORRYNG ABOUT OTHER THINGS?! AREN'T THERE MORE PRESSING CONCERNS THAT YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT AND FIXING? THERE CERTAINLY ARE...BUT YOU SURE AS SHIT ARE GONNA TAKE CARE OF ME.

i can't wait to see the letter. do you think i have to get a parent's signature on it? perhaps a parent-teacher conference is in order...

margaritas anyone???

Your baby's hit the 2-inch mark (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce. Her face is beginning to look more human. Her eyes, which started out on the sides of her head, have moved closer together on her face, and her ears are near their final positions on the sides of her head. Your baby's intestines, which have grown so rapidly that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into her abdominal cavity about now. Her kidneys are secreting urine into her bladder. Her nerve cells have been multiplying rapidly, and synapses (neurological pathways in the brain) are forming. Your baby may have acquired more reflexes by now, including sucking, and she'll even squirm if you prod your abdomen, though you still won't be able to feel her movement for several weeks.

you never know

you'd think...with all this time on my hands...i would have posted something these past few days.

yo mama

Yo mama so stupid it took her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo mama so fat she eats wheat thicks.

baby's first picture!!!

fig newton

Your fig-sized baby is now fully formed — measuring 1 1/2 inches long and weighing in at a quarter of an ounce. Her skin is still transparent, allowing many of her blood vessels to show through. Some of her bones are beginning to harden, and tiny toothbuds are starting to appear under her gums. Her fingers and toes have separated, and she may soon be able to open and close her fists. She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will increase as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. As her diaphragm develops, your tiny tenant may also start to get the hiccups. Because she's still so small, though, you won't feel any of her workouts or intrauterine gulps until sometime between weeks 16 and 20.

don't break my ears

So we told Ole I'm pregnant the other night...IT WAS HIGH-LARIOUS.

I began by explaning what pregnant is...there's a baby growing in my belly. My belly is getting bigger...just like the pictures you've seen when you were inside mama. blah blah blah...

Ole: "You're growing a baby right now?"
Me: "Yes. You're gonna be a big brother!" (much enthusiasm here)
Ole: "Is it gonna cry?"
Me: "Well, yes. It's gonna cry sometimes."
Ole: "When it cries...I want to go in my room so it doesn't broke my ears."

Later in the evening...

Ole: "When will the baby get here?"
Rune: "In May. That's when ski season is over"

A few minutes later...

Ole: "Mama...my baby sister's gonna be here when we're done skiing!"
Me: "Did your father tell you that?"

hahahahhahahahaha

bob loblaw

nine weeks

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce, but she's poised for rapid weight gain now that her basic physical structure is in place.

She's also starting to look more and more human. Her embryonic "tail" is now completely gone and her body parts — including organs, muscles, and nerves — are kicking into gear. Her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has earlobes, and by week's end, the inner workings of her ears will be complete. Her upper lip is fully formed, too, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The tips of her fingers are slightly enlarged where her touch pads are developing.

All major joints — shoulders, elbows, wrists, knees, and ankles — are working, enabling your baby to move her limbs. As for her heart, it has divided into four chambers now, and the valves have started to develop. External sex organs are there, but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

tomorrow

the party's over
damn dark circles are still there
back to work again

thump thump thump

i heard the heartbeat today. it's hard to believe that tiny, little barely formed thing already has a beating heart...but it does. i heard it.

hello oslo!

Oh my god...you know what? Norway isn't as in-the-middle-of-nowhere as I thought. Hooray. We're in Oslo now and it's actually a normal city...with restaurants and bars and shopping and markets and people...lots of people. And you know what else? Most of these places are open on Sundays.

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE BACK IN CIVILIZATION. woo hoo...

I'm going out now...to walk around the city...

so long steinkjer

We're leaving Steinkjer tomorrow morning and heading to Oslo to spend a few days with friends before we head back home. I feel a bit melancholy, though, because it just doesn't seem right that my in-laws only get to see their grandson once a year. I don't know...maybe I'm just feeling a touch emotional (hormones), but I feel terrible about taking Ole and leaving tomorrow. It's gonna be so quiet around here without us...and as I type this I'm starting to realize that it's not necessarily a bad thing. They'll probably be able to breathe and relax once they get rid of us.

Anyway...Oslo should be fun...but I don't know what kind of internet access I'll have where we're staying, so this could be it until I get back.

CIAO...

weather haiku

it's lovely today
21, sunny, blue skies
that's celsius. duh.

also my neck really, really hurts

i'm pretty sure i have meningitis...but it could be west nile virus too...or maybe i have a cold and i slept wrong...

in any case...this is what i found on www.webmd.com

Meningitis Symptoms
Symptoms of bacterial meningitis usually develop suddenly, while those of viral
meningitis may develop suddenly or gradually over a period of days. For example,
the symptoms of viral meningitis after mumps may take several days or weeks to
develop.
The most common symptoms of either form of meningitis
include:
Fever.
Severe and persistent headache.
Stiff and painful
neck, especially when trying to touch the chin to the chest.
Vomiting.
Confusion and decreased level of consciousness.
Seizures.
Other
symptoms of meningitis include:
Sluggishness, muscle aches and weakness, and
strange feelings (such as tingling) or weakness throughout the body.
Eye
sensitivity and eye pain from bright lights.
Skin rash.
Dizzy spells.


The incubation period—the time from exposure to the infection to
when the first symptoms develop—depends on the type of organism causing the
infection.
Babies, young children, older adults, and people with other
medical conditions may not have the usual symptoms of meningitis.
In babies,
the signs of meningitis may be a fever, irritability that is difficult to calm,
decreased appetite, rash, vomiting, and a shrill cry. Babies also may have
bulging soft spots on their heads that are not caused by crying, and a stiff
body. Babies with meningitis may cry when handled.
Young children with
meningitis may act like they have the flu, cough, or have trouble breathing.
Older adults and people with other medical conditions may have only a slight
headache and fever. They may not feel well and may have little energy.

gag me with a tonsil

Fair warning for those of you who do not want to hear me complain about how sick i am...

Anyway...one of two of you may have noticed that I've missed a couple days here. That's because Tuesday...we spent the day in Trondheim. That's the town where Rune went to college...also where Jim Taylor spent some time this summer. Jim tells me he saw a young lady walking down the street wearing a t-shirt that read, "I like to fuck." He said it was then that he knew he loved Trondheim. Rune's brother goes to college there now...so we went to see him. The reason I was so excited to go (other than to visit my brother in law of course) was because there is a pretty sizable H&fuckingM there!! Woo hoo...h&m all around... Trondheim is about a two hour drive from Steinkjer (where I am now), so we were gone all day.

Then, yesterday, I was so sick I couldn't get out of bed ALL DAY LONG. Pathetic. I think I may have a sinus infection and tonsilitis (is that how you spell that?)...because my throat hurts like hell and my tonsils are so swollen I feel like I'm gagging all the time. I keep thinking about Becky and Laura - who gag when they brush their teeth - and how they would totally die if they had this. I must have had a fever or something yesterday too because all I did was sleep really. I feel better today in that at least I could get up. I still, however, feel like I'm constantly gagging. Fun, huh?

I've decided that this is god's way (or whoever) of equalizing. I don't get morning sickness when I'm pregnant. I just get sick. This sucks!

OK...enough complaining.

I did make it out of bed and out of the house today. We went bowling again. Ole bowled a strike on his very first throw. I think the people at the bowling alley thought we had a little bowling genius on our hands...until the next throw when he hurled the ball over the bumper and broke the lane divider. We had a pretty good time.

Weather here is not a whole lot different than when we arrived...rain, rain and more rain. It's not as cold though.

overheard

I just had this conversation with my son...

"You know why I fart, mama?"
"Why Ole?"
"Because I'm so happy..."

heated bathroom floors

That is so cool. They have heated bathroom floors in this house. Feels so good to stand there in bare feet...especially when it's so god damn cold outside. Although in pondering the greatness of these floors I have thought of one MAJOR drawback; there's no where to put your face when you're really drunk. There has been more than one occasion where no place has been as soothing as the bathroom floor...the cool tiles against my cheek...ahhhhhhhhhh. That aside...it is a lovely thing to have.

Ok...so Rune's parents have saved, like, all of his toys from when he was a kid. They're up in the attic in boxes. Does anybody else think that's weird...or is it just me? I mean...he's 32 years old for god's sake. Ole, however, thinks it is the coolest thing ever that his grandma keeps coming down from the attic with box after box of cool stuff to play with. It's like Christmas around here (without the reindeer for dinner). Ohmygod...that reminds me; Rune's mom put out this salame-like stuff the other day while we were eating. I asked what it was and Rune starts reading the label: pork, beef (ok that's normal enough), moose (getting a little bit icky), HORSE, SMALL WHALE (whatthefuck?!). I was sure he was kidding and asked him if it also had cute bunnies and baby seals in it, but here's the thing. He was not kidding. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... I'm gonna try to bring some back from my Uncle Davey and Melrose. Those two will appreciate a thing like that.

I wanted to go to H&M today...but nothing is open on Sundays around here. Where am I???

36 Degrees and Raining

That's the weather that welcomed us when we arrived. When I say raining...I mean fucking pouring. And 36 degrees. What the fuck? It stayed like that yesterday too, but today it's better. Still cold. Still rainy. But you can see blue sky periodically and the rain is only intermittent.

Ole went out and picked plums with his grandfather this morning. He follows that man around wherever he goes...even if he just leaves the room. It is god damned cute. Later, Ole went out with his grandma and picked berries. They'll make jam. He's napping right now. That's because he woke up at 5:30 this morning and did not go back to sleep. He had many things to say at dawn; what's your favorite fruit, mama? When can we get up, mama? It's not nice when I hit people? Where's Mimi? Papa, what's your favorite fruit? Mines' watermelon. It's juicy and red like a fire truck. He was talking in total stream of consciousness ( i have no idea how to spell that word).

I'm hoping to go back to H&M asap...there are coats everywhere at that mall. Many coats and cute sweaters and boots. I am now in such a fall state of mind. I even bought tights to wear with my boots and skirts. I want more coats. Many more coats. Does anyone know how much 1195.00 kroner is?

hello from the land of the vikings...

Just got back from H&M...god I love this country...but first; the trip over.

Got on a plane at SFO at 11:35PM and flew for seven and a half hours to Iceland. I gotta say...it was a much shorter flight than I thought it would be...and it felt like it. Ole was a travel pro...again. After dinner, we fell asleep for FOUR HOURS (he may have had a little synthetic assstance), so when we woke up we only had another hour and a half or so left on the flight. It was a breeze.

We had about two hours in Iceland...just enough time to walk around and have a soda at a cafe. Then we got on a flight to Oslo which took about two and a half hours. Again, Ole was a freakin champ! We ate and then he fell asleep; this time all on his own. We had about an hour and a half in Oslo before our 40 minute flight to Trondheim. Ole and I slept most of it.

When we finally arrived in Trondheim it was about midnight local time. Norway is nine hours ahead. After that, we had an hour and a half drive to Rune's parents' house. Phew, we made it. I have to admit, it was the easiest quickest trip over here we've ever had...although I guess it was about 20 hours door to door.

We went to sleep at who knows what time, but we did sleep until noon. ALL THREE OF US SLEPT TILL NOON! Can you freakin believe that?

So, in short, we had a pretty smooth trip and a lovely visit so far. That's all for now.

Off to Norway...

This is where I'll be for the next two weeks. Well..not exactly there...but in this lovely country...

raspberry

Your baby still appears to have a small tail (actually, it's an extension of his tailbone), which will disappear in the next few weeks. But that's the only thing getting smaller. Now almost half an inch long — roughly the size of a raspberry — he has elbow joints and distinct, slightly webbed fingers and toes. In his oversized head, both hemispheres of his brain are developing. His teeth and the inside of his mouth are forming, and his ears continue to develop. Eyelid folds partially cover his tiny peepers, which already have some color, and the tip of that nose you'll be tweaking someday is emerging. His skin is paper-thin and his veins are clearly visible.Your little one also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. His liver is busy producing red blood cells, and a loop of your baby's growing intestines is bulging into his umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from his tiny body. You can't feel his gyrations yet, but your baby is like a little jumping bean, moving in fits and starts around his watery home.